Evaluation

Breaking Evaluation

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Audience Feedback on "Breaking"

Some audience feedback after watching "Breaking"

Breaking: Second Draft

What I have improved along with the list of improvements I needed to make on the previous post:

• Put the title next to the picture on the chair and made the text larger and last for longer than the frame
• Taken the title out of the ending and the music

Breaking: Bloopers

Some of the bloopers/outtakes from the filming of my film opening.

Breaking: First Draft

What I need to improve on my second draft:

• Take guitar music out from the beginning as it sounds too relaxing
• Break up the opening credits more - maybe add who directed e.t.c
• Change opening with the logo - add "presents" at the start
• Less kissing
• Take out some of the voice over ("stupid") as it sounds childish
• Add a fade after the part where the characters are chasing each other

Meet the Cast!

Katie as Jean - She seems to be quite a nice and innocent person and so perfect for the main character

Mehwish as Lily & Abigail as Tessa - They can both pull of being spiteful (acting, of course)

Matt as Max & Naise as Anna

Unfortunately getting the cast was not an easy task. In the end I had to chose people who I thought would be right for the parts and when I asked them none of them were really willing to act in the film. After asking a lot of people I eventually managed to get Katie, Mehwish, Abi, Naise and her boyfriend, Matt to star in the film. Naise was a good choice as she had a boyfriend and there would be no other way to film unless I chose someone who was with someone. I rewrote some of the script when I knew that she would be able to be in it with Matt, otherwise I don't think I would be able to do it. 

Locations

I only need two main locations for filming.
The first one is the living room and kitchen of my house, chosen because of the easy access - I can just move around whatever I need to. There is significant space so enough room for a tri-pod. Also, it was the place I had in mind when creating the storyboard and the best place that works with the script. It is just better because I have the freedom.

It is quite tidy as well which reflects the OCD of the main character. 

The second place, is the road outside my house, an alley and a space in front of some shops.

Quite a large area in front of the shops - teenagers usually hang around here at night which made me think of this place.

Alley on the side of the shops is perfect for the main character to be when she's watching the other characters.

There's lots of space to move around and the good thing about filming outside in an area like this is that I don't need to ask anyone permission. The area is not very busy so there's not much of a risk of having a continuity error as people don't walk past a lot. Outside the shops is a main road which is quite busy, however we will not be going near the road so safety issues are not much of a problem. This again, were places that I had in mind when writing the script and drawing the story board. Everywhere is very grey which can reflect the characters emotions in the film.

Main Task: Script

Fade in to main logo (“Mocking jay pictures”), fade out.

Jean is washing out a glass, checking to make sure that it is perfectly clean. Washes it out a few times. Jean stares off into the distance for a moment. She walks out of the kitchen and into a living room where she sits down opposite an armchair with a picture of her ex-boyfriend Max with a flower next to it. The chair is not shown, made to believe that it has someone sitting on it.

Jean (seductive): So, what do you wanna do? My parents aren’t back till Monday. (pause and giggle) What? Don’t look at me like that… (looks down, shyly)

Jean looks back up, sighs and looks away frustrated.

Jean: Oh my God, this is so stupid!

She gets up and storms back into the kitchen. Reveal that the chair is in fact empty with a picture of Max and a flower underneath. Begin opening credits and opening song.

Jean is walking down a road, going back on herself where there are cracks in the pavement and then continuing. She walks down some steps and stops at the end of an alleyway. A group of three girls and Max are just outside in front of a shop. She takes a look but quickly pulls back. She gets out her phone and snaps a picture of Max.

Jean V.O.: That’s Max, my ex-boyfriend. He’s still in love with me. He just… got a little distracted.

Jean takes another photo, this time of Max kissing his girlfriend, Anna. Jean’s eyes narrow, close up. Zoom in on Anna.

Jean V.O.: Anna Dawson. A.K.A. the new girl who stole my boyfriend. Everyone can tell me he dumped me because of my OCD all they want, but I know it was her fault. Just look at her. Her stupid hair and her stupid clothes. Doesn’t she drive you crazy just by looking at her?

One of the other girls, Lily, sees her.

Lily: (angry) Hey!

Lily and the other girl, Tessa, run towards her. Jean looks around like she is going to run away but doesn’t and stands there looking worried and embarrassed.

Lily: (intimidating) Were you spying on us you little skank?

Jean: (uncomfortable) uh… hey…

Tessa: What did we tell you before, Jean?

Lily: Still think you can get him back? God, you’re having a laugh.

Tessa: (threatening) Leave us alone, or we will make your life a living Hell.

Jean: More than it is already?

Lily: (laughs sarcastically) Freak.

Lily walks off back to Max and Anna. Tessa shoves Jean, glaring. Tessa goes back to the others.

Jean stares after them as they all walk off.

Jean V.O.: I don’t care what it takes. I’m going to get him back.

Fade to black, reveal title “Breaking”

"Breaking"

In the film, Jean, a teenage girl, has been dumped by her boyfriend because of her OCD, however she believes that it is Anna's fault - a girl who has recently moved to the town. During the film she comes to realise she needs to get some help on how to deal with her OCD and she meets another guy - one who really understands her. Eventually Jean figures out her life and moves on, realising that her ex-boyfriend was a jerk all along. Plenty of drama goes on. 

I decided to call the film "Breaking" as OCD is about trying to break the repetitive cycle. It also represents how Jean is breaking down from everything that is going wrong in her life.

Why a teenage romantic drama film?

I chose to create the opening sequence of a teen romantic drama as I watch a lot of romantic drama films. Twilight used to be one of my favourite films (a guilty pleasure) and so I had some ideas of what my film could be about. I make videos in my own time and this was a genre I usually use which made it a good choice for me. 

Main Task: Reader Profile

My target audience will be more for young female teen girls up to 15. They are into sites like facebook and twitter. Friends are a huge part of their life.

They also go on youtube a lot to listen to music and watch humours videos such as asdf movie and parodies of their favorite shows and films i.e. twilight, Glee, The Vampire Diaries as well as watching videos of cute animals being... well, cute. They are into the latest fashion trends and shop in places like BHS, New Look, Top Shop and Primark. They like wearing make up and styling their hair. 

Main Task: Survey

Here is the link to take my survey.

The majority of the people who took my survey were female between 14-17.

Most the answers to this question show that it is unlikely that they would go out of their way to watch a film from this genre. A lot of people said that they would watch a teen romantic drama if they were bored or if their friends wanted them to watch it.

 Most the answers to this question show that it is unlikely that they would go out of their way to watch a film from this genre. A lot of people said that they would watch a teen romantic drama if they were bored or if their friends wanted them to watch it.

Despite the answers to the previous question, participants still said that they manage to watch teen romantic dramas at least a few  times a year. 

Some of the answers to this question contained teen romantic dramas that also contained something else – such as Easy A which contains humour along with Mean Girls.

Many people answered with twilight as their least favourite teen romantic drama film, and so it would not be a good idea to make the style similar to that film.

 The majority of participants wanted to watch something which contains other elements instead of having the film simply a realistic romantic drama, however 23% said that they would prefer something like this.

  

34%, which was the highest, wanted a high number of main characters in the film, however the lowest and highest number of people available to answer (one and six) scored the lowest. However 33% did not mind.

 Everyone selected that they wanted to see characters who were older then them or their age, or they didn’t mind so it would be a good idea if I did not get actors/actresses who look younger than the target audience.

Film Research: Teen Romantic/Drama films

Twilight (also fantasy)
Starts with main logo, fades into dimly lit forest with deer calmly drinking water, hearing some leaves rustle, deer looks alarmed, music picks up – more dramatic, suspense, chasing deer through forest, closing in on deer, a figure comes out and catches deer but we do not see who it is. Fade to sunny desert, sun spots on the camera. Music changes to slower pace. All score. Main character looking unhappy, tracking shot where she walks towards the camera, straight cut to her with her mum. Step dad shutting car door, trying to rush them to leave saying they have “a plane to catch”. Main character smiles weakly. Mother says she’ll miss her. Throughout is a voice over of the main character saying for the first part about something deep and meaningful – death. After the fade she is talking about leaving to live with her father in a new town. Long shots and mid shots of the characters. Two shot where mother and main character hug. Close up of main character showing emotions. Dialogue exchanged is quieter than the voice over. They all get in the car and a song begins to play – upbeat, guitar, lyrics. Shots of them in the car. Plane going up, sound effects of the plane. Movement shots of the surroundings.  At 2 minutes the title comes up of the logo presenting (“Summit entertainment presents”), overlaid, move up to sky, fade through white to another area, movement through fog, snowy mountains – another area. Title of film centre screen, custom font, opening credits end with title at about 2:12. Tracking shot of car going across the bridge. Camera moving from right to left, ahead of car from outside window, voice over of main character as music fades down to lower volume, car driving down various roads, long shot of the house as the car pulls up outside. Mid shot of main character getting out the car and looking up at the house, back to long shot of characters getting bags out the car. Music has almost faded out completely at 3:25.

Director: Catherin Hardwicke
Stars: Robbert Pattinson, Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner
Kristen Stewert (main character) – mostly in teen films – Twilight series – New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn as well as The Runaways which was based on a biography (drama, music) First significant role in The Safety of objects (drama).

Robbert Pattinson – main male role. Appeared in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, which was older children/teen (fantasy, adventure). Was also in Water for Elephants and Remember me (both romance, dramas)

Based on the novel by Stephanie Meyer

The Last Song (also family)
Main logo. Dramatic piano music, close ups of glass, orange lighting, liquid dripping, shot of a fire in a building from the inside, long shot of inside building of the fire – small explotion, building falling apart, two firemen dragging out a body, lyrics in the song, sound effects of the parts of the building falling down, fire crackling, people talking on radios, windows smashing, water being sprayed. Red lights flashing. Camera moving up of silhouettes of the three people who came out of the building. Fade to black. Straight cut from black to next scene of tracking shot – car driving down a road. Text showing with enlarged translucent shadow behind bold white text of the main logo presenting (“touchstone pictures presents”), same song playing, long shot of the car driving down the road with lead actress’ name in text, bottom right of the screen same as before. Shot of main character from outside the window of the car, different view from the front. Tracking shot of the car going across the bridge, title of the film (“The Last Song”) appearing as before. Main character looking out the window, winding the window down to reveal face, (“an offspring entertainment production”) POV shot from inside the car of surroundings, tracking shot again of car with another name appearing at top left of the screen, another tracking shot involving more scenery in new location. No sound effects. Mid shot of main character from outside the car. Music fades out to sound as if it’s coming from the main character’s headphones. Sound effects of the car, mid shot of burnt building with workers. First line spoken with three shot of characters inside the car from outside the windscreen. Magnified POV from the car shot of burnt down building. Another name shown bottom left of the screen, close up of main character looking at the building with indifferent expression, opening credits end at about 1:50. Long shot of the area.

Director: Julie Anne Robinson
Main stars: Miley Cyrus, Liam Hensworth
Based on novel by Nicholas Sparks

Remember me

Main logo – zooms out to see full logo, black background fades to see white and green flashes – a train moving. Title fades in with letters spread far apart, appears on right side of the screen and moves to the centre, showing “remember” in all caps, the letters ‘r’, ‘e’, ‘e’, ‘b’, ‘e’ and ‘r’ fade out leaving the ‘me’. Dramatic piano music in the background. Sound effects of a train fade in, two figures are visible – a woman and a girl – mid shot. Straight cut to long shot where the train goes past and the two are standing on a platform at night. Small text and bottom centre screen of the location and date (broklyn, new york. 1991). Music fades out and the girl is looking frustrated. They seem to be talking but it is not audible over the sound effects. Long shot from the side as they are looking for a train. Long shot down the platform with two guys looking their way. Long shot of the girl with her mother with the guy’s legs on the left side of the shot from the waist down – low angle shot. Back to shot of down the platform one of the guys walks towards the girl and her mother, mother brings the girl towards her protectively, guy walks past and down some stairs, close up of mother looking around. She looks down the platform and exclaims that the train is coming. Long shot of the two on the platform, men walks past the camera, back of him is in the shot, camera comes slightly towards the woman and the girl. Long shot of the other man coming back up the stairs. Mother looks around anxiously. Long shot of the man getting out a gun, sound effects of the train coming up to the platform. The two men are walking towards the females, tracking shot following the man who just got out a gun, woman pulling the girl behind her, camera moving towards the woman on both sides – both sides where the men are coming towards her. Train going past with loud sound effects of the train, dialogue of the men telling the woman to give them her purse, close ups of men shouting in her face, close up of girl looking scared behind her mother, constant camera movement around the group, men get on the train, sounds of train stops, diegetic sound of someone on a speaker, camera moves around the woman’s face, doors close, shot of woman staring at the men, men staring at the woman, ding of the doors about to open, doors open and one of the men is holding up a gun, mid shot of woman getting shot, shot of her falling backwards and the girls expression, exclamation of “no!”, long shot of the woman on the ground, sound effects of the doors closing on the train, girl crying sounds of despair and pain, crying, yelling “mum” over and over. Sound effects of train moving away, mid shot of the girl crying, tracking shot of the men looking at her through the door as the train moves away. Train is used as a passage of time, camera moves around so directly looking at the train, police officer walks into the shot from the right of the screen, follows him to the stairs to see another man walking up the stairs. Shot from behind him walking up the stairs, sad tune being played in the background, camera stays at the stairs, long shot of the platform with officials around, on the floor is a white sheet over what has to be a body. Low angle shot of the man looking down at the body, can see his hand lifting the sheet. Close up of a ring on the ground, he picks it up, straight cut to him standing up with everything else but him out of focus, can see the blurry figure of the girl coming towards him, girl cries “daddy!”, he picks her up, camera moves around them, tracking shot of him walking towards the camera with the girl in his arms, shot from behind them as he walks down the stairs, fade to black. Ends at 4:16.

Director: Allen Coulter

Stars: Robbert Pattinson, Emilie De Ravin

A Walk to Remember

Starts with main logo, shows 2 – lasts for 30 seconds with piano music – warner brother’s theme song. Opening credits against black background (“Warner bros. pictures present”, along with names of the lead roles), sounds of someone cheering in the background, catchy upbeat song, rock song. Text white – letters scatter outward before white flash of a transition, title as the last text, straight cut to shot of a car on a road at night. Teens getting out the cars, dialogue exchanged, camera movement as if you are part of the crowd, text appearing at bottom centre screen of more names, text still animates outwards the same as before. Same shot continues into a tracking shot as another car appears and comes towards the group, continues tracking the guy who gets out of the car, camera passes by a couple kissing. Shot goes to different characters as they speak but does not concentrate on every single piece of dialogue. Text of the casting is by, music supervisor. Another character enters in another car. Characters being aggressive towards each other but they shake it off. Text of who the music is by, who edited the film, production design, costume design, producers. Still the same shot as the characters start walking, camera follows them from in front. As they turn a corner the camera goes upwards behind a chain link fence. Sounds of them enjoying themselves, all in the shot walking away. Text in the centre  - based on a novel. Shot ends at 2:37. Straight cut to shot of the water, text of who the screenplay is by. Characters walk into the shot from the left side of the screen. Text of who the producer is, who the director is. All the characters walk past. Straight cut to characters crowding around – low angle shot. Music fades out.

Director: Adam Shankman

Stars: Mandy Moore, Shane West

Teen Romance Dramas

Water for Elephants
Remember me
Romeo and Juliet (1996)
The Last Song
A Walk to Remember
Twilight/New Moon/Eclipse
Red Riding Hood
Dear John
Beastly
Letters to Juliet (also comedy)
The Death and Life of Charlie St. Cloud

Directors

Francis Lawrence (Water for Elephants)
Allen Coulter (mostly drama tv series, Remember Me)
Baz Luhrmann (romance dramas and dramas, Moulin Rouge!, Romeo and Juliet, Strictly Ballroom)
Julie Anne Robinson (mostly tv series – romance dramas, The Last Song)
Adam Shankman (A Walk to Remember)
Catherine Hardwicke (romance dramas, Thirteen, Red Riding Hood, Twilight)
Lasse Hallström (Dear John)
Daniel Barnz (Beastly)
Gary Winick (Letters to Juliet)

Twilight – main character is moving away to live with her dad even though she will miss her home, unsure if doing the right thing

The Last Song – main character seems to be unhappy, her brother talks about an unnamed action she did in the car but she claims that she ‘didn’t do it’ – criminal act suggested

Remember me – girl and her mother seem to be happy until the opening plays out and the girl’s mother is shot – reveals that the rest of the film will be dramatic/sad

A Walk to Remember – nothing bad seems to happen/has happened but some of the ways they each treat each other implies that something bad could happen i.e. aggressiveness one of the boys shows to a girl they were kissing

Many based off novels (Twilight series, The Last Song e.t.c). Romeo and Juliet based off the Shakespeare play. Main character is usually the girl, and she’s usually going through emotional turmoil – usually unhappy with her life in the beginning.

Conventions of a teen romance drama opening

•  Logo of the main institution of the film which will last around 15-30 seconds which will be animated
• Main character is shown in the opening sequence – very early on in the film, but who they end up with at the end of the film may not be included this sequence at all.
• A voice over of the main character is frequently used which will explain about their life so far/what’s going on
• The main character is usually unhappy about their life or are going through emotional turmoil at the time, or the first scene will imply that something will happen later, or something will happen in the first scene e.g. the fire in The Last Song
• In the opening credits, the names actor/actress playing the main characters are shown as well as the director. Sometimes other names will show up such as producers, casting, costume e.t.c. In a more action oriented sequence like in Remember Me the title was simply shown – probably so that the audience are not distracted from the events taking place in the film by the text.
• Common shots – tracking, mid, long. Lots of camera movement is involved.

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Preliminary Task: Script

(Kat is sitting, on her laptop with ear phones in. Meg walks in. Kat does not react but she looks annoyed. Meg sits down.)

Kat (irritated): Why are you here.

Meg: I said I was sorry.

Kat: Yeah, (turns to look at Meg) but that doesn’t mean anything does it? As if I’d forgive you for what you did.

Meg: Kat, I told you, he kissed me.

Kat: And why should I believe you?

Meg: It’s the truth!

Kat: (sarcastic) Ok, it’s the truth. My boyfriend is a cheating liar who would go around and kiss any other filthy skank. (Turns back to laptop) Just get out and don’t come back. Meg sighs and gets up.

Meg: Who are you gunna believe? Your sister or your boyfriend? (she leaves)

Preliminary Task: Story Board

Preliminary Task: Evaluation

For my preliminary task, of one character opening a door and walking into a room to have a conversation opposite another character, I chose to write the script like an argument. Meg and Kat are sisters and Kat has a boyfriend, however she heard that Meg and her boyfriend had kissed. Meg tries to explain that she was no responsible, although by the end of the scene Kat doesn’t indicate that she believes her. I tried to make it dramatic, with lots of close ups and have it fast paced. I set the scene in my room as it was appropriate as I am a teenager. Throughout, Kat is on her laptop with earphones. I thought this would be suitable as listening to music and being on the computer is what teenagers normally do.

There were a few things that did not work on the day of filming, such as the shot I was going to use which shows Meg’s right side and Kat’s left where they are facing each other. There was too much space for this in the middle and it did not work. Neither did the tracking shot of Meg coming through the door. There was something else that did not work, which was when Meg goes to sit down on the bed, the audience expect her to come from the other side. I think that the final product was a bit too fast paced and I don’t think there was enough emotion. I also could have added more to the beginning, such as Meg standing outside the door, knocking and then inside the room Kat telling her to go away. I am not happy with the lighting either, as overall it seemed kind of dull and some parts were a little too bright. Some of this I tried to edit, however it all had to be on the same level which was difficult.

One of the problems I thought I would have to face was that I would find it difficult to put together all the different shots without having a lot of distortion when they changed in the editing stage. Although I thought I did this well. I also thought there would be a lot of background noise which might make the actual dialogue too quiet to hear, however this turned out fine.

When selecting what shots to choose for the final video, I decided to try to get more and more close up as the tension built up in the argument. When Meg first walks in there are the mid shots of her and the two shots of them, however as Kat begins to yell and get progressively angrier at her there are more close ups of Meg, especially for her reactions. When the scene goes back to a two shot of when Meg gets up at the end, I would have liked to have included a close up of Meg’s mouth here while she was talking to create more drama. Also at the beginning, it would have been good if I included Meg standing outside the door knocking and some reaction from Kat being annoyed, before Meg enters anyway.

Overall I think the preliminary task worked out well, with only a few things I am not happy with including, the shot where Meg walks in from behind Kat, and how there is little movement of the camera. I could have included the tracking shot I was originally going to use. 

Preliminary Task: Images of the Set

Doorway, where one of the characters will enter.

The desk is moved slightly forwards from the radiator so the Tri-pod can fit and there will be enough space to film in the room. One of the characters will already be seated at the desk.

Where the tri-pod will stand

Where one of the characters will sit who walks in.

Posters that may get in the shot. They are teenage posters, which works with the script as this room belongs to one of the characters.

Preliminary Task: Survey

Here is the link to take my survey.
I created a survey on 'Survey Monkey'. This contained questions asking about teenage drama films, as for my Preliminary task I wanted to create a scene that would feature in a teenage drama.

Survey results:
A total of 9 people participated in my survey online. 8 were female, and 1 was male. I specifically asked teenagers to participate. Their ages ranged from 14 - 17. 14 = 1, 17 = 1, 15 = 2, 16 = 5

None of them responded with "no" to watching teen drama films. 33.3% said yes, with 44.4% saying "sometimes" and only 22.2% saying "not really", suggesting that it is a popular genre. Everyone said that they watch teen drama films more than once a year. The highest scoring option was "every few months" with 33.3% with the lowest at 11.1% which was "every week" and "every month".

Responses for why people would go to see a teen drama at the cinema:

• if it looked good
• I find them entertaining as long as there is a good plot that doesn't feel like too much of a cliche, and if not all characters are stereotypes
• if there was an actor in it that I like
• if someone invited me to go with them

Responses for why people would not go to see a teen drama at the cinema:

• if my friends weren't going
• I don't have enough money
• I don't want to spend my money on it

33.3% said they had seen a teen drama a few months ago. Everyone said they had seen a teen drama this year.

Not everyone answered what music they would expect to see in an argument in a teen drama as it was an optional question, and many participants said they found it a hard question to answer.
Responses:

• fast paced, lower pitched, not too loud or high
• depends on the characters, the argument and the scene. Probably rock/pop music or a sad instrumental
• lots of drum fills or something somber that almost clashes with the scene
• anything in a minor key, maybe fast-paced music
• something dramatic

I asked about the camera angles, however not many people were sure how to answer this question as they did not know about the different types of camera angles.

Responses:

• The moving ones, like in Glee where it's like they're the students
• Basic camera angles, nothing too fancy
• Mostly close ups
• Close ups for more intense scenes

I had a question about how many main characters were preferable in a teen drama and surprisingly no one said one. The highest scoring answer was 3 with 44.4%. 22.2% said they didn't mind, and the same amount said 4-6. The lowest was 2 with 11.1%.

44.4% said they wanted the characters in the teen drama film to be a few years older than them. No one wanted younger. 11.1% said their age, and 11.1% said one year older than them. 33.3% said they didn't mind.